Are you living a lie – one that has been fed to you all of your life?
This might sound a bit like a conspiracy theory, however, the more research I do, and the more Dads I work with and interview, the more clearly I see it.
Trying to fit into the status quo does not lead to a fulfilled life. The words that I keep hearing are frustration, anger, disappointment, guilt and even rage.
While it’s noble to play the responsible role that we are taught will lead to happiness and great satisfaction – work hard at school, go to College/Uni, get a good job, get married, have kids… it doesn’t appear to be working out too well overall!
Old systems no longer working?
Suicide rates for men, in Canada, were 3 times higher than for women, and the highest rate of all was of men aged between 40 and 54. (StatCan). In the UK, the rate for men is still double that of women.
From my research, the part that is really missing, is not money surprisingly enough. The common denominator is the conflict of what they believe they ‘need’ to do, or are ‘expected’ to do, verses what they ‘want’ to do. This isn’t just what they ‘want’ to do in their leisure time (if that even exists), but what they want to do on a greater scale – ie to give greater meaning to their life.
Why is it more difficult for men to get support?
In the last 12 years of having my own business, I have relied heavily on networking groups and coaches, all of whom supported women, were started by and made up of women. Just by the nature of women, we tend to want to contribute more to communities and reach out to our ‘sisters’ for support and guidance.
Men don’t have the same access to these sort of groups. I believe there is still a trend for men to isolate themselves the higher up they get. The more successful they become, the more cut off they become as they focus on what they need to get done. The problem with this, although it is very efficient, is that it isn’t making them happy or fulfilled, and certainly doesn’t give them an outlet to explore what’s really important to them, or where they can really thrive and contribute on a greater scale.
Work/Life Balance – is it possible?
While interviewing a group of men between the ages 35-50, I asked them how their life as a working father compared to what they expected. The one common answer they all had was they didn’t expect it to be so chaotic – and they don’t remember their life being like that when they were growing up.
My hope is that by the time my two sons grow up, it is not an usual site to see fathers working doing something they love and contributing to their family’s and society in a bigger way – that proves to bring more happiness and fulfilment.
Until we get there, I’m working with men, one at a time, to help them through the transition of finding what’s important to them, and being able to bring more happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment to their lives.
If you’re a man who feels that the time has come to stop wondering if ‘this is it’ or ‘is this all there is?’ and you want to be the man you know you can be, to achieve what you’re worth, to be the husband your wife has been craving, to be the father your kids look up to – and to be a leader that society desperately needs today, please schedule a Free ‘Discovery Call’ and lets’ make your plan to get there!